An Open Letter

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: 

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter,

 Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

I am sure you will also have good memories when you take your progress report / marks card to mums for signature. Let us wish them  Happy Mothers Day with a smile in face and heart.

Parking Ticket

Working people frequently ask retired people what 

they do to make their days interesting. 

Well, for example, the other day, Gail my wife and I 

went into town and visited a shop. 

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, 

how about giving a senior citizen a break?' 

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. 

I called him an “a*sehole” . He glared at me and started 

writing another ticket for having worn out tires.

So Gail called him a “sh*t head”.  He finished the 

second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. 

Then he started writing more tickets. 

This went on for about 20 minutes. 

The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. 

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it 

and went home. 

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.

It's important at our age.

The day I decided to Quit (Story)

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with god
“God”, I asked,
“Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”.
His answer surprised me…
“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo ?
“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.I gave them water.The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.” He said.

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”

He asked me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots”.
“I would not quit on the bamboo.I will never quit on you.”
“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said.”The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful.”"Your time will come”, God said to me.
“You will rise high”.
“How high should I rise?” I asked.
“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.
“As high as it can?” I questioned.”Yes.” He said, “Give Me glory by rising as high as you can.”
I left the forest and brought back this story.I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on
you.

Never, Never, Never, Give up.

Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Let go of your stresses

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: ”How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 ml. to 20 ml.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Think Before Talking

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him. In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't harm anyone.'

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man to 'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home; throw the pieces of paper out and come tomorrow to hear the sentence.'

The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.' The old man said: 'I can't do that. The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them.'

The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything wrong...

'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

Dream

Once upon a time, at a large mountainside there was an eagle nest with 4 large eagle eggs inside.

One day, an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down to a chicken farm, located in the valley below.

The chickens knew that they must protect the eagle egg. Eventually, the eagle egg hatched and a beautiful eagle was born.

Being chickens, the chickens raised the eagle to be a chicken. The eagle loved his home and family but it seemed his spirit cried out for more.

One day, the eagle looked to the skies above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring. ”Oh,” the eagle cried, “I wish I could soar like those birds.”

The chickens roared with laughter, “You cannot soar like those. You are a chicken and chickens do not soar.” The eagle continued staring at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be like them.

Each time the eagle talked about his dreams, he was told it couldn’t be done.

That was what the eagle learned to believe. After time, the eagle stopped dreaming and continuedto live his life as a chicken.

Finally, after a long life as a chicken, the eagle passed away.

Moral:

You become what you believe you are. If you ever dream to become an eagle, follow your dreams, not the words of chickens.

                                      

React / Respond

 At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but …it landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the movement of the cockroach on his shirt. At the opportune juncture, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

The Question : Was the cockroach responsible for the edgy behaviour inside the restaurant ? Of course yes. It was the cockroach and the eerie feeling that it generates that caused such commotion.

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed ? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

Please note, it was not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that distressed them.

Therefore, it is not the shouting of my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the turbulence caused by their shouting.

It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the annoyance caused by the traffic jam.

Bottomline More than the problem, it is the uncontrolled reaction to the problem that creates chaos in our lives. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Thus, do not react in life, but always respond.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, poised and save a situation from going out of hands. Thus, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger or anxiety, to avoid stress or hurry , to have a calm personality……stop reacting, start responding.

I'm leaving (funny)

The mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened.

I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. 

I get home... and guess what I found ?

Yes, your daughter, my wife , with a naked guy in our marital bed!

This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "

There is something very odd going on here.

My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation.

I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

" I told you there must be a simple explanation ..... she didn't receive your E-mail!" - 

Exam

One Night, 4 Engineering Students were playing Football till late night and didn't study for the Exam which Was scheduled for the next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan, they made themselves look as dirty and untidy as possible with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the Principal and said that they had gone out to a Sister wedding last night and on their return the Tyre of their BMW Car burst.

They had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. So the Pricipal said they can have the re-test after 3 days, they thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Principal, the Principal said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name..........................(2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tyre burst ?...............(98 MARKS)

    

    a) Front Left

    b) Front Right

    c) Back Left

    d) Back Right.....!!!

Fabulous

A 99 year old lady got herself admitted in her old age home since her husband was no more. While she was waiting to get her admission the receptionist informed, "Mam your room is in the 1st floor". Lady responded "Marvelous......"

When the domestic attendant took her to her room in 1st floor through the lift, attendant said stating "Mam, your room is on the North East corner of the building". Lady responded with enthusiasm, "That is Fabulous". Attendant said, "The size of the Room is 8 by 8". Lady again responded, "That is Wonderful"

Puzzled by the responses the lady gave attender asked the lady, "Mam what is so fabulous about North east corner room and wonderful about 8 by 8 room"???

Lady responded, "I have decided myself to be Happy irrespective of the situation I have in my life...............

The last wishes of Alexander the Great

On his death bed, Alexander the Great summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes:

1. The best doctors should carry his coffin;
2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones etc.) should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery; and
3. His hands should be let loose, hanging outside the coffin for all to see!

One of his generals, who was surprised by these unusual requests, asked Alexander to explain.

Here is what Alexander the Great had to say:

1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that, in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal.2. I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, stays on earth.3. I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people understand that we come to this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is TIME.4. We do not take to our grave any material wealth, although our good deeds can be our travelers’ cheques. TIME is our most precious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time.5. When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back. Our time is our life!6. So my dear, the best present that you can give to your family and friends, is your TIME. May God grant you plenty of TIME and may you have the wisdom to give it away so that you can LIVE, LOVE and DIE in peace

Stock

Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.. 

The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. 

He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

Welcome to the 'Stock Market'

Speech - Less

A man was polishing his new car.

His 4-year-old son picked up a stone and scratched on the side of the car. In anger, the furious Man took his child's hand and hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' 

The man was so hurt and speechless.

He went back to the car and kicked it many times.
Devastated by his own actions. Sitting in front of the car he looked at the scratches, His son had written 

'I LOVE  YOU DAD'. 

Anger and Love have no limits... Always remember " 

Things are to be used and people are to be loved " but the problem in today's world is

 "People are being USED & Things are being LOVED" 

Give

A very poor man lived with his wife.

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.

She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.