Friday, March 27, 2015

What does it take to be happy in a relationship?

If you’re working to improve your marriage or relationship, here are the 10 habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness
and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.

If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "Just Listen."

Source: Psychology Today

Thursday, March 26, 2015

World Cup 2015

India's spectacular winning streak in World Cup 2015 came to a disappointing halt on Thursday when the defending champions lost their semifinal match against four-time champions Australia. It was a brave fight from the Men in Blue in front of a screaming Sydney Cricket Ground. In the end, it was all for nothing.

I am still a die-hard fan of Team India !  Today March 26th 2015 Australia powered into the World Cup final with a 95-run victory over defending champions India in Sydney.


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Win Every Interview with these 6 Steps

1.    Predict the future. You can anticipate 90% of the interview questions you’re going to get. Three of them are listed below, but it’s an easy list to generate.
“Why do you want this job?” “What’s a tough problem you’ve solved?” If you can’t think of any, Google “most common interview questions.” Write down the top 20 questions you think you’ll get.
2.    Plan your attack. For EVERY question, write down your answer. Yes, it’s a pain to actually write something. It’s hard and frustrating. But it makes it stick in your brain. That’s important. You want your answers to be automatic. You don’t want to have to think about your answers during an interview. Why not? Keep reading.
3.    Have a backup plan. Actually, for every question, write down THREE answers. Why three? You need to have a different, equally good answer for every question because the first interviewer might not like your story. You want the next interviewer to hear a different story. That way they can become your advocate.
4.    Prove yourself. Every question should be answered with a story that proves you can do what you’re being asked about. “How do you lead?” should be answered with “I’m a collaborative/decisive/whatever leader. Let me tell you about the time I ….” Always tell a story or have facts to prove you are what you say you are. More on how to construct and tell these stories in a future article.

5.    Read the room. All that brainpower you’re not using to desperately come up with answers to questions? Look around. Focus on the interviewer. In the first 10 seconds, is there anything in their office, or about them, you can notice and use to forge a connection? A book on a shelf? A family photo? A painting? Read the interviewer: is their body language open or closed? Are they tired and should you try to pep them up? Do they like your answer or should you veer in another direction?
6.    Make it to Carnegie Hall. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Same goes for getting a job. When I was in my second year of job hunt, I practiced my interview answers -- out loud -- until I could tell each story smoothly, without thinking about it (but not so smoothly that I was bored with the re-telling). My roommate walked in one day to find me sitting on the futon reciting why I thought I was a great leader again and again. He figured I was stuck in some kind of Stuart Smalley-like self-help loop. But I got 2 job offers from 5 companies (that’s another story) and was on track to get another 1 before I stopped interviewing. How is that possible? Practice.

Everyone deserves an amazing job. I hope this helps you get one.

           Courtesy :Laszlo Bock SVP,  People Operations at Google

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Never Give Up !!

There’s a point in your life when you know who stays forever and who’s just around for a while. People change, but so do you. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Bad things happen to everyone, you’re not in it alone. People lie and some people just don’t care how you feel. Your heart beats no matter how much pain you’re in. Everything will be okay eventually. There are always people in your life that just make your day no matter the miles. I know all about distance, I’ve been dealing with it all my life, so don’t tell me it’s easy, but it’s worth it. I’d rather stay in touch with the people I love than just drop it and forget about it. You don’t forget about the ones you love, it doesn’t work like that. Give it all you got, and live your life to the fullest. People would kill to have what you have. Someone always has it worse off than you, but that doesn’t mean your pain doesn’t count.

I think everyone at some point, goes through that one moment where they think “my God, I can’t do this”. But you know what? You can. No matter how close you are to the edge, no matter how badly you feel like giving up, or think it’s best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain - don’t. Don’t lose hope that things will get better. Don’t give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could. Keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart, because someone is out there searching for your smile. So wipe your tears and keep your head held high.

“Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with “…and they live happily ever after.” Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It’s something we can’t control, something we had to live up.”

Friday, March 6, 2015

7 mini-habits that will change your life

1. Make your bed the minute you wake up in the morning. 

And do a damn-good job of making it. Stretch out the sheets, clean out the wrinkles and fold out the blankets perfectly. 

There are two very tangible benefits behind making the bed perfectly in the morning. 

First, you've finished a task immediately when you wake up, so you're starting your day with a small self-esteem boost of doing something, finishing something, and doing it very well. 

Second, when you come home from a tired day, when you've lost in other areas of the day, when things haven't gone your way... you will come home to a perfectly made bed. 

There will be nothing between you and a good night's sleep. 

The bed will remind you of the success you had in the morning and make you go to sleep looking forward to another day. 

'First thing in the morning' is more of a metaphor, meaning get the bed done before you get lost in the day. 

You can let it breathe, change the bed-sheets or whatever, but before you step out of the house, get it done. Or if you want to laze around get the bed made before lazing out on the couch. 

2. Put things back to where you found them

What this means is that no matter what you use in your day, as soon as you're done using it, put it back. 

Done polishing your shoes? Put back the shoe polish and the brushes to where they belong. 

Been cooking some food? Put back all the utensils to where they belong. 

Done watching a DVD? Put it back in the box and in the shelf where it belongs.

Here's why this is super beneficial; every time you put stuff back to where it belongs you're immediately taking care of a few functions in your life;

The first is that you're clearing out the clutter instantly. When you put things back to where they belong you drastically clear clutter in your life. 

Clearing clutter helps you think better and have a better organized life. 

The second benefit is that when you need them the next time you won't have to look for it. You'll know where you put it back. 

And over time as you make putting things back in their place a habit, you will know every time where anything is. 

This has the additional benefit of saving you tons of time without actually looking for things. 

If you put your car keys back to where they belong every day, you won't have to find them. You'll always know where they belong. 

The third benefit is long term - that you develop a habit of putting things away which will help you in your life as you get business and busier, putting things where they belong will help you remember where they are in the long term.

3. Pick up clutter before you go to sleep at night

This might sound like more than a 5 minute habit, however when practiced consistently this is a less than a few minute habit. 

Often times we end up being tired at night and have dishes in the sink, clothes lying around in the bedroom, magazines all strewn across the coffee table... these are all messes in our lives. 

When we wake up in the morning, instead of our mind focusing on the things that we have to it, focuses on these messes and our brain runs awry... 

Thinking about all the things 'you should' do and not focusing on the things that you have to do... nor the things that would being you the best return on time invested. 

So develop the habit of picking up any clutter you have lying around the house. This ties in perfectly with the previous habit. 

If you put stuff away, there wont be too much clutter to begin with, but whatever clutter there is, you'll put it away before you go to sleep at night. 

This will help you have a cleaner mind, have clearer thinking and focus on things that you really want to achieve. 

If you've never cleared clutter in your life - there will be a lot of it, so instead focus on clearing clutter form one space when you're just starting out. 

Here let me show you... if you've got a lot of clutter sitting around, think about clearing it from the kitchen counter every night before you go to sleep. 

Then every week add another surface. So as time progresses, you'll spend less and less time on keeping the kitchen counter clean and eventually your entire house will become clutter free. 

You won't even notice this but you'll wake up happier, and with more energy  and a skip in your step. 

4. Plan your day on a post it note

I used to have extensive to do list, with different contexts and different things that I had to do in different areas of my life. 

It never worked. I would fail and fell miserable at the end of the day for not achieving anything in my life. 

Then I started using the post-it note technique. 

This essentially means that whatever you have to do tomorrow you write it down, then take the biggest, baddest, projects from that list and put it on a post it note. 

These projects are the ones that will make the most impact in your life. Write only these on a post it note and forget everything else. 

So from a work perspective, you write the 3 things that you can do that will make the most impact on your job, and for your employer. 

You might have to ask your employer... "What's the biggest result, most important thing, that will have the most impact on the company?" or "What results do I need to deliver?"

This will help you clarify instantly what your employer values the most and will get you to do more of those activities. 

But only write down 3 things on the post it. 

I've noticed that doing 3 things everyday will have more impact on your life than writing doing 10 things and doing 7. 

Your mind will keep focusing on the ones you didn't do and then you lose productivity and sleep on the next day. 

So write down only 3 things on a post-it note and finish those 3 things every day. 

5. Become enthusiastic 

Most people drift thought life with their shoulders hunched, a frown on their faces and wrinkles on their forehead. 

They are skeptical about everything, about a new job, about a new responsibility, about something new that their spouse tells them. 

I used to be like that, and all it gave me was a bald head. Years later I changed my outlook on life and started being enthusiastic. 

Not just enthusiastic about going on vacation, or taking some time off from work... but about everything in life. 

If someone shares an idea with me, I'm enthusiastic about it, jump on board and help them take it to execution. 

It may not work out, but never for a lack of enthusiasm. This has helped me make more friends, become relaxed in my daily dealings and have doors opened for me that would never have been opened for me. 

Just las week I was at a luncheon with the Premier of British Columbia - only because of my enthusiastic attitude. 

6. Treat every stranger like a friend

What this means is that instead of looking at strangers with a bit of caution, you treat them with open arms. You welcome them in your private space. 

This completely changes things for everyone. When you meet someone for the first time, they are eyeing you with skepticism and you are eyeing them with skepticism. 

This is an evolutionary reaction that helped us survive a million years ago, where a stranger was out to get out food, and steal our supplies.

Even up to 200 years ago this was true. That a stranger could rob you or steal you property. 

But for most of us reading this on google, it isn't true anymore. We live in a world where the strangers we meet will be in a very protected and secure space.

You might meet a stranger at work, at the movies, in a bar, in the shopping mall... all these places are pretty well protected. And the chances of you getting mugged are remote to none. 

When you treat them like a friend, approach them with a skip in your step, open arms, wide smile... they will naturally become attracted to you and want to help you out. 

You're not doing this to get something out of them, but just to have a better time in life. Both you and the stranger are going through a tough journey called life... it becomes so much easier when you have a friend. 

Be that friend for that person, and treat every encounter as if you're meeting your friend. 

Additionally, chances are you both watch the same TV shows, read the same books, and have a few other things in common that if you just got to talking you would have a great time. 

The final benefit of treating every stranger like a friend is you aren't anxious all the time. You can relax, your body can relax and you let go of all the stress inside you. 

Remember; everyone else is treating you like a stranger also, they are sussing you out also. The only way you can find a friend is to be a friend. 

I'm not saying throw caution to the wind and make friends with the homeless guy in the alley behind a strip club... nor am I saying that you become best friends with every stranger that you meet. 

But... and this is key... that you 'treat' everyone like a friend, unless proven otherwise. 

So if you're sitting down on a park bench and someone is sitting across from them - start a conversation with them like you're both friends. 

Not exchange your bank account - but just treat her like a friend. If she turns out to be someone you wouldn't be friends with otherwise, no harm, no foul.

7. Dress slightly better than the occasion calls for

Notice how everyone who is an authority, who has power, who has charisma is dressed just a tad bit better then the other people in the room. 

Even in the movies, you never see the president dressed shabbily and the rest of the press dressed like winners. The press is always worse dressed than the president. 

So just by dressing up slightly better than the occasion calls for you will instantly become the alpha in the group. 

This means that when you're going out with your friends to watch a game, don't just wear slacks and a t-shirt. But put on jeans and a shirt. 

When you're visiting friends, don't just wear jeans and a shirt, put on a jacket also. 

You're dressing slightly better than the occasion calls for. 

So if everyone at work wears casual clothes, you wear casual clothes with a sports jacket. 

Yes you will stand out... but you will stand out to be better than everyone else. At work your boss will notice that you're the best dressed person there and will think of you when new opportunities arise. 

With friends you will become the natural leader of the group and everyone will look up to you for advice. 

Even when someone else wants to talk to the group, they'll perceive you as the authority and talk to you.

Plus the benefit of doing this is you don't have to work too hard, for most situations you can put on a collared-button-down-shirt and a sports jacket and you're good to go. 

For other situations a suit is required, and still for other occasions wearing a tie is mandatory. 

You know what each of that situation is you just need to implement this in your life. 

But a quick warning... if you're thinking about dressing slightly better, don't be ironic about it. 

What this means is if you put on a jacket, don't let your shirt hanging out pretending to be a cool twenty something. If you decide to put on a sweater, don't have the seams popping out at the back. 

If you do something, do it well, not ironically. It's not cool, it's not impressive. It doesn't make you look hip - it makes you look immature. 

Immature people are never leaders, never alphas in a group. 

These are the 7 mini-habits that you can implement in your life and drastically change your life. 

They don't take a lot of time to implement. They don't require a lot of money, or effort. 

But they do require your commitment. So make a commitment today to do these mini-habits in your life. 

Take the 5 minutes right now to make a commitment that you will do these habits for the next 30 days. 

Promise me that you will try each habit for 30 days before you discard it. 

Then and only then decide whether it works for you or not.